The Inside Joke
My latest artwork, "Collateral Damage," is equal parts social commentary, tied into the ongoing Halloween and Dia De Los Muertos themes, and an inside joke (for those of you that get it). It is part of my larger series, "The Inside Joke" (you can see the full gallery at elvissantana.com), an artistic exploration of narcissism through the prism of my own experiences. "Collateral Damage" delves into one of the most disturbing aspects of narcissism — the emotional and psychological exploitation of children. To a narcissist, children are not autonomous beings but extensions of their ego, reflections of their image, or tools for validation. They are praised when they serve a purpose and punished, often silently, when they do not. A narcissistic parent may cloak control in affection, presenting themselves as loving while manipulating their children’s emotions to maintain dominance. Independence in a child becomes a threat to their authority, so they stunt it through guilt, criticism, and emotional withholding — ensuring the child remains bound by dependency and fear rather than love and trust.
This dynamic becomes even more complex and cruel when it involves stepchildren. Narcissistic stepparents often use favoritism as a weapon, elevating their biological children while isolating or demeaning the stepchild. They manipulate situations to undermine the biological parent’s authority, often reframing themselves as the “better” or “more understanding” parent in front of others. They compete for attention, twist narratives to cast themselves as victims, and create environments of confusion and distrust. Love-bombing is common in the beginning — they shower the stepchild with affection and gifts to gain trust — but over time, this affection turns to coldness, neglect, or outright hostility. The shift is deliberate, a tactic to destabilize the child and assert power. What begins as a blended family becomes an emotional battlefield where loyalty is currency and affection is conditional.
"Collateral Damage" is a reflection of that silent suffering — the unseen casualties of narcissistic control. It speaks to the children caught between love and fear, learning early that affection must be earned and that approval can vanish without warning. The painting captures the hollowness behind the smiling facades of family portraits, the emotional decay beneath curated perfection. It is a plea for awareness and empathy, a call to recognize that narcissistic abuse does not only scar adults but shapes generations. The title itself is a painful truth — the collateral damage left behind when love becomes manipulation and innocence becomes a casualty of ego.
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Private Collection
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